


The Witcher: Sleepy boys inc

by manaishtar



Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types
Genre: Crossover, Goat Hybrid Toby Smith | Tubbo, Multi, Piglin Technoblade (Video Blogging RPF), Trans Ranboo, blaze tommyinnit, enderman-ghast hybrid ranboo, ill add more tags as the chapters continue, phantom philza, spider hybrid wilbur, theres no upload schedule sorry
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-24
Updated: 2021-03-13
Packaged: 2021-03-16 09:42:04
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 3,619
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28954398
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/manaishtar/pseuds/manaishtar
Summary: i had an idea: the worlds cannonically open into others in the Witcher what if, sbi from Minecraft fell in. So this was born there's no real plot right now
Comments: 10
Kudos: 78





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is more just set up for the world. We jump into things properly in the next chaptee

Many decades ago, when Vissimir was still a young witcher a portal opened. Out of that portal came a group of people, strange people. The Witchers didn't know what to call them, they all had monstrous features. The main one of the group, the adult had large black wings, he was the easiest to label as a hybrid. Their instinct was that the man was part harpy, though that wouldn't make a lot of sense considering all harpies are female and his wings were leathery. He was probably draconic to some degree. 

They only found out what he was part, after he managed to get them to put away their weapons. He explained that he was partially a creature from his world called a phantom, a flying undead stingray creature. The next thing they found out was that his name was Philza and he had his sons with him. Two were toddlers, no more than 2 years old. 

He explained the brunette was named Wilbur and that he was a hybrid spider. Wilbur wasn't as noticeable as his brother. His hybrid features were more subtle, black to his hair, prone to spin silk and fangs. The small boy hid behind Phil more frequently than his brother. 

His brother, pink-haired and adventurous, older by mere minuets. Phil explained the pink-haired one was Technoblade and that the reason he had pig features and an attitude was that he was a hybrid of what was called a piglin. He had to explain that piglins are humanoid pigs found in a realm called the Nether. He of course had to explain the nether. He also found it necessary to mention that Techno may experience a bloodlust later in life and that he is easily distracted by gold. The babies were hard to explain

On the one hand, you have Tommy. He looks completely human but Phil had to explain to them that it wasn't bad that he was so warm to the touch. He explained that Tommy was part blaze. He explained that a blaze was essentially flying sentient fire. The one that was hard to explain was the older of the two babies. 

Ranboo already having a full head of hair and her little fluffy tail. Phil had to explain that Ranboo was half Enderman and half Ghast. He honestly couldn't answer the question that the Witchers had. He had no idea how it was possible. 

Phil and his kids were allowed to stay at Kar Morhen until the young Witchers became full Witchers. By that time they had contacted a local mage and made arrangements for them to have a cottage in what was a mirrored pocket of existence. Only Witchers and a select few mages would be able to find it. Over the years it became exceedingly clear that the hybrids aged slower than the Witchers.

As the hybrids grew the frequency of Witchers staying with them lessened until their very being was simply a myth even to the Witchers. In the years each child came into their habits and traits more solidly. The conversation that happened with Phil and his daughter was one that couldn't be avoided when he thought back on it. Ranboo had never been very effeminate. So it wasn't much of a surprise when Ranboo confessed in tears to Phil that she wanted to go by male pronouns. Phil agreed, assuring Ranboo that he wouldn't care any less for his now son. He made Ranboo more masculine clothing and gave him a more masculine hair cut. Ranboo had gotten rather lucky that he was flat-chested and could easily pass. It would take some time for his brothers to adjust to the change but they did.


	2. Chapter 2

cting it as there hadn't been a witcher in their home for decades. But that didn't stop the smile that blossomed when he was getting firewood after the first snow and he saw the witcher. 

The witcher in question was rather famous. White hair, golden eyes. Geralt of Rivia was standing at the entrance of the clearing watching the surroundings warily. That was just something all Witchers did though. What Phil did notice was the young girl standing behind him, but that just meant setting a second place at the table and pulling out the second cot. Phil just stood up with the firewood in his arms and addressed the man. 

“Well it's been quite some time since I've had a witcher at my table,” he said, turning to go inside, wings leaving trails in the snow. “Would you grab another armload of wood and join me inside?” he asked before heading into the house. 

Geralt grunted and walked over to the pile and picked up some wood. He motioned for Ciri to go inside. She waited for Geralt to be closer to the door before she went inside. Inside the house smelled like freshly baked pastries. Ciri sniffed the air identifying them as apple turnovers. 

There was a crash from the other room and loud cursing. Phil sighed. "Excuse me for a second, I belive that is my oldest and youngest." Phil set the firewood down and headed for the sound. Out of curiosity Geralt and Ciri followed. 

What they were met with was a pink-haired boy with pig features on the floor with a wooden sword pressed to a younger blond's throat.   
"Say uncle, Tommy!" He hissed. Tommy tucked his legs up and attempted to dislodge the older boy.   
"Never you fuck!"   
"Boys. No swords in the house." Phil stated sternly crossing his arms. "Techno get off of your brother." The older of the two, Techno reluctantly got off of Tommy. This honestly reminded Geralt of when he was young and he smiled internally. “We have company boys, introduce yourselves to them.” Phil motioned to the witcher and Ciri standing behind him. Techno huffed at being told to introduce himself standing up off of his brother.   
“Yeah, yeah I'm Technoblade,” he said crossing his arms and looking to the side. Tommy just sat up and gave a mock salute.   
“Name’s Tommy.” Phil sighed   
“And you are, Geralt of Riva, the white wolf with your child surprise Ciri.” Phil said motioning to the two behind him knowing he was right. He kept tabs on the witchers after all. “Techie where are your brothers?” he asked indicating there were more than what was in front of him.   
“I think they're outside with that sheep.” techno said sitting on the couch and resuming reading his book.


	3. Chapter 3

“Sheep?” Geralt echoed   
“Yes. The sheep is blue and his name is Friend.” Phil answered and motioned for Geralt to follow him back outside. Geralt reluctantly followed him outside and was surprised when they went around the back of the house to find a boy in a yellow sweater sitting next to a multi colored boy petting a sheep. “Ah, there you are! Boys come introduce yourself to our guests.” Phil called. The boys looked in their direction and the one in yellow smiled

“I'm Wilbur and this is Ranboo.” he introduced  
“...Geralt...Ciri” Geralt introduced stiffly. Wilbur smiled and pulled a small clump of blue wool out of his pocket. 

“Do you want some blue?” he asked tilting his head to the side. Ciri hesitantly nodded. Wilbur handed her the blue happily.   
“Wilbur does that to cheer people up. He likes blue it makes him happy,” he explained. “Alright, boys if you happen to feel like helping out could you cut a little more wood before you come inside for me?” Both boys nodded and Phil smiled ruffling ranboo’s hair “thank you.” Before turning and heading back inside. He cast a look in Ciri’s direction “would you like an apple turnover?” he asked motioning to the counter. She glanced up at Geralt who just grunted. 

“Yes please,” she said softly and Phil smiled handing her one.   
“Would you like one as well Geralt?” he asked he shook his head. Phil nodded in understanding and took a seat at the table. “Are you going to be staying all winter or are you only passing through?” he asked.

“...passing through.” Geralt answered and Phil nodded   
“Are you heading to Kar Morhen?” he asked and got a nod in response. “That's quite a way away,” Phil commented smiling when he spotted Tommy poking his head in but didn't comment on the boy. “I think you’ll find that the snow around here is heavy and I would caution against traveling in the winter with a child but it is up to you ultimately,” he said. Geralt noted the steps of the boy entering the kitchen. 

Tommy seemed nervous to enter as he stepped over to Phil.   
“Um...d-dad,” he said getting Phil's attention  
“Yes Tommy?” he asked turning to face his son  
“I um….I broke the ax...I just wanted to help Wilbur cut wood and I got excited..” he trailed off looking at the floor and Phil just patted his head.   
“It's an ax, not the house. We have other splitting mauls. Just tell techno to go into the basement and get another out of the box ok?” Tommy nodded and went back outside.   
“How did getting excited break the splitting maul?” Geralt asked

“Oh, you don't know?” Phil asked and then laughed “we are all hybrids.” he let his wings flap once. “I'm a creature called a phantom from the world were from. Techno has violent tendencies because he’s what's called a piglin, he’s easily distracted by gold. Tommy...well Tommy tends to set things on fire when he’s excited or angry. I really would have thought Vissimir told you this..he was there when we arrived.” Phil said going on a small rant about the past.  
“Mr um-” Ciri floundered for a second   
“Oh my! I didn't introduce myself! Im Philza.”   
“Mr. Philza, can you fly?” she asked looking at his wings curiously. Phil laughed   
“Yes, yes I can but I would trade that if it meant my boys were safe.” he said honestly “Hybrids aren't very well accepted back home,” he explained pausing when he heard a sound outside.   
The sound that started as a dull whirl transformed into screaming and then techno running into the house.

“PHIL THERES A PROBLEM!” he yelled dashing off to get their medical supplies and back out into the snow. Phil watched techno sprint confused before it fully registered what was said. He jumped up and sprinted after him. Geralt motioned Ciri to stay inside as he followed, hand on the hilt of a sword.


	4. Chapter 4

The snow was turning red and all of the boys were gathered around the source bickering amongst themselves. 

“Boys! Part like the red sea!” Phil yelled giving a flap of his wings to gain speed. They were away from the house a bit, closer to the tree line. What Phil was met with when Wilbur shifted out of his way was horrifying. 

Laying in the snow, unconscious and bleeding was a boy, no older than Tommy. He had short shaggy brown hair and goat ears and the start of horns. The clothing he was wearing was tattered but distinctly green in color. There was no denying this was a hybrid and Phil's instincts kicked in. “Get in the house,” he stated 

“But dad!” Tommy started to protest and was silenced by the look in his father’s eyes.   
“ **get.in.the.house.** ” he stated. this sent the boys running. Phil looked the new boy over and picked him up and turned. “Geralt, would you put him on the couch for me?” he asked, wings fluttering nervously. Geralt nodded and took the boy from Phil and disappeared inside before rejoining Phil. 

Phil was looking up at the portal that stayed open. “I don't trust this, be ready for a fight,” he said. What dropped through the portal next were a few zombies and those were quickly dispatched. While they were busy with the zombies the portal overhead closed. “Someone has to be responsible for this….The first time it was me and my boys now it's this poor kid without his parents." Phil seemed nervous. "I only know of one goat and he's not exactly a good person." Phil sighed “But even if they're related I cant hold Schlatt’s actions against this kid.” He motioned for Geralt to follow him into the house. 

Geralt took some time to walk the perimeter and make sure there were no threats. Then he investigated the impact zone. The amount of blood was enough that the kid had to have been bleeding when he hit the ground. He looked to the side and caught something glinting. He reached over and picked it up, it was a simple chain with a bee pendant on it. The kid would probably want it. 

Geralt stood to start back inside when he spotted something else. Laying in the snow a few feet away was a sword made of a material he had never seen, there was blood on the blade. Cautiously he picked it up and headed back inside.


	5. Chapter 5

AN: sorry this one is so short   
He entered the house and found the cluster around the couch. Tommy asking questions before Phil could even answer them. 

“Tommy he’s a hybrid that's all we know until he wakes up. Go cool off but stay away from the impact zone.” Phil said shooing him out. Geralt took that opportunity to speak.   
“He was bleeding before he hit the ground, probably out cold as well.” he shuffled into the room “From this, it can be inferred that he was in a fight or being hunted.” He held up the sword and Phil looked spooked.  
“That is netherite. It's hard to find back home...he was definitely being hunted.” Phil explained the material and sighed  
“I think this is his as well.” Geralt next handed Phil the necklace   
Phil nodded and tucked it into his pocket 

“I'll give it to him when he wakes,” Phil said looking at the kid. “He’s just a child...I know they hunted us and they wanted hybrids dead but a child.” Geralt hummed in agreement. He did have a special child of his own to protect after all. Phil spent the rest of that day alternating between trying to make conversation, keeping techno and Tommy from killing each other, and taking care of the still unconscious child.


	6. Chapter 6

The next morning when Phil was making breakfast he was interrupted by what would amount to ultimately good news.   
“H-hello?” a voice called from the doorway and Phil startled some but turned around and smiled   
“Oh good you woke up. I was worried that we got you to late, you did loose a lot of blood.” he said setting the knife he had in his hand down on the counter. “I think this is yours.” he said holding the necklace out to him. Tubbo took it with a soft thank you. “Your probably confused right?” he asked and the boy nodded. Phil motioned to a chair for him to sit down and the child did, although reluctantly. “First, my name is Phil and this is the house i share with my family and currently a few travelers. Im a phantom hybrid.” he explained.

“I um….im tubbo.” the boy introduced himself.   
“Alight tubbo, the next thing i need to tell you may be hard to believe.” he said and paused watching him nod. “This isint the world were from. You fell through a portal just like me and my boys did.” Tubbo blinked at him and hummed.  
“Is that what that was? I thought portals had to be built…” he trailed off. 

“Magic works differently here. Portals, potions not everyone can make them.” he paused and thought about what he was gonna say. “That being said the monsters are also different and only a few things and people can kill them.” tubbo opened his mouth to ask a question “no theres not respawn point. Act like your on your last life, its hardcore mode.” he turned back to the counter and resumed what he was making. “One pancake or two?” he asked waiting for tubbo to process the information.   
It hit tubbo like a sack of bricks. They were all on one life and not everyone could make potions.   
“Uh...two…”

“Ok.” he said letting them lapse into silence for a while before like clock work the rest of the house started to file in. Phil handed a stack of 6 pancakes to techno who sat at the table and drowned them in blueberry syrup, wilbur was next with a stack of 3 slathered in butter with some syrup, Tommy followed with 8 covered in butter and sugar, Ranboo was next with 2 covered in sugar and cinnamon, geralt opted out and ciri had one plain pancake. Phil joined the table with his stack of 3 moderately syruped pancakes.   
“So, this is tubbo.” he said motioning to the boy and then going around the table and introducing everyone. They sat in silence for a while before tubbo spoke up.

“Ive never seen so many hybrids in one place…..we’re nearly extinct back home.” he said not actually looking at the others. Phil nodded  
“Im truthfully not surprised. We were well on the way when the boys and i were dropped here. Techno is the last of the piglin hybrids that i know of and i **am** the last of mine.” he said softly with a sigh. “So when I inevitably die phantom hybrids will be no more.” When phil explained it, it clicked for geralt that the hybrids were very similar to the witchers in that sense. The witchers were diying out as well, he wasnt about to tell them that though.   
Phil shook his head and stood up.   
“When your done join me out in training area. Boys you’ll have to lead our company to it.” he said exiting the house.


	7. Chapter 7

Slowly but surely the other members of the household filled the clearing that was designated for training. Phil had set it up for a different style of training than normal. Several small items and stations were set up. 

“Alright, today we focus on seeing if any of you have developed powers specific to your hybrid or if you have developed magic in the way this world operated. Ranboo, we will work on your teleporting.” He looked at techno. “How are they today?” he asked and got a shrug   
“Normal.” he said Phil nodded   
“Let me know if they get loud.” he said and techno nodded. He looked at Wilbur “we will start with you Wilbur.” Through trial and error, they discovered Wilbur could spin webs from the tips of his fingers. 

“Tommy, set the box on fire, only the box,” he said and Tommy in his infinite confidence let loose a blast of fire way too large and set the box and the trees behind it on fire. Phil sighed “does that look like just the box?” he asked and Tommy shook his head shrinking back from the disappointed dad look. Geralt was slightly amused by it. Tommy was given a few more tries to get it right and the number of trees decreased but didn't go away. 

Phil had the idea and turned to Geralt. “Would you like to spar?” he asked adding “I'm quite good with a sword.” Geralt thought about it for a moment before he nodded. He would make a point to go easy on the man. 

Everyone who wasn't Phil and Geralt stood on the edges of the clearing and watched the two swordsmen. Phil was better than Geralt would have thought, but Geralt was unaware that Phil had done some training with the witchers himself and so had the older boys. The sparring went quickly and no one was expecting what would happen when Geralt drew blood.


	8. Chapter 8

When Techno caught a whiff of the blood that had been shed he froze in place. Before his brothers had a chance to relax Techno had already crouched and dug his hoof into the dirt.

“Tech no!” Wilbur yelled as Techno launched himself at Geralt. Techno had just missed the webbing Wilbur had shot at him on instinct. Techno only saw the threat to his father’s life, not the sparing between the two. 

**Dad is in danger  
Dadza  
Dad  
Dad  
Dad  
Save dad  
Last of his kind  
Dad  
Help dad  
Techno help**

Techno made contact with the solid mass that is Geralt. Geralt grunted and was moved slightly but wasn't put off balance the way Techno had thought he would be. Tehno growled and dug his hooves into the soft soil and shoved. Phil moved to stand and grunted a new gush of blood making itself known.  
Techno saw red and before he could process on his own the voices purred

 **make him bleed  
Help dad  
He will hurt your siblings next  
Make him bleed  
Make him bleed  
Make him bleed  
Blood  
Blood  
Blood  
Blood for the blood god  
Witchers for the blade  
Blood for the blood god  
Death  
kill**

Geralt was quick to react, blocking the incoming bite. With the tusks, the pinkette had it wouldn't be great if he had been successfully bitten. It would by no means be the worst bite he’s ever had but it would still be unpleasant. His next action resulted in the piglin on the ground face down with a boot between his shoulder blades. 

“Oh dear, I thought he was over this.” Phil said ruffling his feathers as he got up. “Geralt you are going to have to knock him out, ill explain everything once we're back at the house. Boys!” he called looking at the others “that's enough for today.”


End file.
